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Weinisa! This rocker is turning 16 soon & being on time is what I can never achieve. :B Boy at heart though trying to be more charboh-like. >:D Archives Part One. Part Two. Part Three. Part Four. Part Five. December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 credits Jane |
Monday, December 8, 2008 @ 3:08 PM
Its the 8th of December Its been a year. Reading past posts from the previous blog showed me that I was a better person before. Confidence, honesty, care, joy & everything to be proud of. I wonder what happened that made me so dependent on you. Is it me or is it everyone else has fluctuating attitude & behaviour? Thinking back of the past makes me feel like a failure. I had everything, friends, boyfriend, positive attitude. I lost both my only bestest friends & boy. A year has past & I now understand why you meant so much to me. It's because when you left my life, you brought them with you too. 3 most important people besides my family left, just like how you did. Which concludes, everything was my fault. Given a chance, if today were the day a year ago, I would never in the right mind have given you the chance to slip through my grasp. I knew I love you & I knew you were in pain but I didnt know you loved me in that second(now that I know). I thought letting you go, would make you feel better without me always bugging you, always making you angry. Really. Its not that I wanted everyone to pity me I just said what was real & happening in my mind. Maybe if I had told you what I was going to type instead of blogging, it would have let you understand that there was no sense of security. A year has past & a year has past. Nothing can ever change the fact I lost 3 person's trust. As much as I try, they wouldn't really bother trying to be there for me anymore & I really dont know why. If some people were not meant to be together then they were not meant to be together. All I can say is that, practise what you preach & you will be a better person. Cherish those who don't cherish you, cherish those you cherish you even more. Dont flirt. & for me? Dont regret 'cos in life you cannot regret. I love you & will still stay this way for at least the next 6 months even if I try to forget. Do I have to live with this? NoobPig.  My forever giraffe. Im still in ChangChun, coming back in 4++ days. Labels: 8th of december |